VLOG: where I spill my guts



Hi y’all. Sorry for the sloppy editing and the bedhead. Just some thoughts. Now give me yours. Pwease. :)

love,
abbiee

14 comments

  1. Firstly - not most importantly, but firstly - your bedhead looks like my hair after an hour of work and a whole lot of luck. So now I have jealousy issues.
    Secondly - and also not super importantly - but man do you sound like Kate!!

    Okay. Now into the real stuff. This is something that's been in my head and on my heart a lot lately too... trying to figure out who I am, who God has created me to be, who I want to be, and then how to be that person. For me it's been realizing that I don't need to strive for Something Else - for me it's been realizing that I don't need to feel pressure to be any more than I already am. Not that I don't want to improve, or that I want to stop growing, but that I need to be gentle with myself along the way, and accept that I'm only at a stage in this journey... and that's okay.
    Your statement near the end about looking back and not wanting to have wasted time on something that didn't matter.... wow. I'm hoping to go into English in University next year (which I think is like college for Americans) and SO MANY PEOPLE give me flack about it and tell me I'll never have a career and I'll end up a janitor and a failure and etc. But they don't understand that I'm not doing it for a career. (Of course I want a career, and of course I'd love for it to be in writing, and I'm not being silly about the whole thing - I know I need a job. But I digress.) I'm doing it to learn about something that I love, to grow and exercise my passion, and if I don't grow up and get rich on it, that's okay. That's okay with me! And realizing that and standing behind it has been a big deal for me lately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just to clarify, I do not think that janitors are failures. That was expressed poorly on my part. :p

      Delete
    2. To the first thing: aw, hehe. x) My sister says that too. She gets so mad that I can go two days without washing my hair and it still smells and looks nice. haha.

      To the second thing: everyone says that! xD Especially in recordings and over the phone...sometimes even I can't tell myself apart from Katie (voice wise...of course. heh.)

      To the rest: you don't know how good it feels to know that someone else has been struggling with stuff like this lately, too. It's hard, definitely. "Not that I don't want to improve, or that I want to stop growing, but that I need to be gentle with myself along the way, and accept that I'm only at a stage in this journey... and that's okay." < YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THAT. Like...seriously. Thank you so much. ♥ That's exactly how I need to view myself. I can definitely get too hard on myself sometimes...because I strive for perfection and that's a tall order for an imperfect human. eh.

      I really loved what you said about standing behind your ambitions. That's exactly what I mean by claiming yourself. We far too often let others play our dreams down and dissuade us and that's just heartbreaking. (No, I know you don't think janitors are failures. xD) You should do what you're passionate about and feel drawn to! That thing that when you do it, you're like, "Man, I could do this forever." That's the most important thing. All the rest is detail.

      Thank you for taking the time to write such a sweet, thorough comment. :) That really helped me, more than you know. You da bomb, sister. ♥

      Delete
  2. Thank you for sharing. I've been thinking along the same lines recently... Why am I wasting time, and waiting to do what I feel called to do? What am I waiting for? To grow up and feel qualified? Well, that's not going to happen. :P So, this vlog has inspired me to not hold back any longer... to just let go, and let God, as cliche as that phrase is. I want to have no regrets.

    Thanks for exposing your heart and thoughts like this. All the very best in decluttering your life, and focusing on what really matters. Go for it! I know God's got some amazing plans for you. xxx :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Why am I wasting time, and waiting to do what I feel called to do? What am I waiting for?" < EXACTLY. Like...so much relating right now. You're right, we're never going to feel "qualified" to do what we want to do -- the unqualified ones are the ones that have gone forth and changed the world. I'm SO grateful that this vlog inspired you. :) And thank you so very much for the sweet comment. ♥ You're awesome.

      Delete
  3. Wow. This is like....exactly where I'm at right now. Thank you for this. I need to chew on it some more. But know this: God is at work and nothing can stop Him. I see your vision for what you want to do and it blows me away! I can't wait to see how God is glorified through you.

    Also I am so stinking stoked to hear your music. You have no idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for that. ♥ gaahh. Can I just hug you?! Thanks for watching my rant, girl. :)

      Delete
  4. ABS. I just wanted to let you know I watched this whole thing and loved it. But unfortunately I'm at a loss for words. ♥♥♥ muah

    p.s. i agree with Hannah! I cannot wait for you to become a wonderful musical artist and I can have your music playing over here in Colorado. beyond excited. ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SIDNSKNDJASBUINSNDSNKS. < what your last line there did to me. THANK YOU, girl. ♥ You're so awesome I love you. :D

      Delete
  5. ok okokokokok. WOW where do i start??????? gaaahhhhhh.
    this just left me feeling all warm and fuzzy and happy and at peace inside so if that gives you any idea how literally amazing this was then good. This just spoke so much truth to me right where I am. For me, lately, it's been more of a matter of finding out what God wants for my life. I just really, honestly don't know what I want for my life. I want to serve and love and grow and give of myself for my God and people. I want to be a world changer, however small my realm of influence may be, but changing one person's life is changing their world. Anyway, it's just a matter of finding out how God would have me to do that. But it's so encouraging to know that my greatest problem has already been solved, my sins forgiven, my life saved, my heart redeemed. God's promises to me are so good (almost starting sermon and looking up texts but ok). Okay I'm starting to get off track but THANK YOU. Thank you so much for opening up, being real, spilling your guts, whatever. Thank you for not being afraid to be you. You are such a beautiful soul and I can't wait to see what God does through you (also let me know asap when your albums are coming out and I'll order some for everyone I know and their mother).
    ALSO YOU ARE STINKING ADORABLE HOW DO YOU DO IT YOU ABSOLUTE BABE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girrrrl, omg...I'm like. literally tearing up over here... ♥ Thank you so so much for that. I'm so glad this vlog touched you in some way and I'm eternal blessed by what you had to say about it. "I want to be a world changer, however small my realm of influence may be, but changing one person's life is changing their world." < THat is so true and beautifully written. You are going to be a world-changer, Olivia, because that's what you want and need to do. ♥ You are awesome. and gAH I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALBUMS TO HAPPEN and thank you so much for your support of me, literally that heartpunches me so hard it's amazing. ♥♥♥ gah, not enough alt+3s.
      THANK YOU. :)

      Delete
  6. ps believe it or not I am still planning on doing the writers tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! brace yourself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GAAAAAHHHH SO STOKED!!! :D EEEEE

      Delete
  7. It's funny how God tries to communicate with you. Here I was wanting to see the layout of your about button, I was debating if mine was to small but this is the page I got sent to when I typed in your url. So of course me being me I watched the video. Everything you say has so much meaning to me.

    I am at a point in my life where others are telling me what I should do, what things to study in school and I am listening but thinking about if I will be taking a class because they said to or because I WANT to. It's a confusing time for me. I know I have to do what makes me happy and is 100% ME.

    Also what you said about the birds is one of my favorite things to think about. How we need to trust God willingly like the birds do (:

    Your blog seriously helps me in so many ways.

    ReplyDelete

kind words are like raindrops on the desert. they make me bloom with happiness, as absolutely cliche and cheesy as that sounds. even if it's just a simple alt+3 i will heart you for it. so, go ahead! MAKE MY DAY. literally.