It’s Okay To NOT Be Independent (Why I Still Live With My Parents And Love Every Second Of It)

I had to add that tagline so you knew I wasn’t talking about politics. MUAHAHA NOPE I am very much a patriot and believe that the American Revolutionary War turned out better for everyone in the end. No, today I’m talking about the myths and lies that surround the terribly scandalous idea of living with your parents, preferably after the mature old age of eighteen years old. I had no idea I would be writing about this today, but good ole social media sparked the thought process: wow, a lot of young people still live with their parents and seem almost ashamed to mention it.

I’ll get my obnoxious opinion out in the open right away: YOU SHOULD NOT BE ASHAMED TO MENTION IT. We’ll talk about why exactly Dear Waffle Queen in a minute, BUT FIRST – I come to confess that I am one of these over-eighteen-year-olds who still lives with her parents. Want the details? Okay then but you’ll have to go without waffles. It’s either/or today I’M NOT FEELING VERY GENEROUS. Details or waffles? Details it is.

Society™ is something we hear mentioned a lot.* But what exactly is it? (Basically this.) Everyone following after each other’s example even to the extreme of having no idea why they are doing said thing in the first place. BUT LET’S JUST PRETEND FOR A SECOND that Society™ is a monster with small sharp teeth and a thirst for blood and waffles.**

Society™ is first of all probably disgusted by the fact that I live at the end of a little dirt road in the woods and I was homeschooled for the entirety of my small existence. BUT! There may be a small sliver of hope for me if I go to college. Society™ thinks I am bright and smart and I have Potential™ – I wouldn’t want to waste it on art. I ought to find a good job and a good man and adopt a dog and buy a house and have a family and pay taxes and be depressed by age thirty-two.

BUT I DON’T WANT ANY OF THAT. So Society™ concludes that I must be living with my parents – AKA huddled in the basement in an old recliner, writing this blog post and hoping to get through one more day of shirking household chores and waiting for Life™ to happen to me. (Because this plan makes a lot of sense.)

*At least I hear it mentioned a lot. In my house. By my own mouth. Because I’m a bit of a geek for psychology and the ultimate crumble of the world.
**Oh wait that’s me.

My friends probably think I have it made in the shade. (That is the friends who don’t get inside information from this blog muHAHAHA.) My friends probably imagine I am left alone in my very aesthetic bedroom to write books and music all day long – deigning only to the dinner table for food before returning to my art.

OR OR OR my friends think I have a boring secret day job and I’m just “trying to do music” or “trying to write a book” but lol it’s not going to make money because WHO MAKES MONEY DOING THAT?? Wait, did I say these people are my friends?? HAHA ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY.

Not to presume that my extended family thinks about me from one month’s end to another, but LET’S JUST PRETEND THEY DO. Half of them have no idea what my life is like. They probably think I’m in college with a boyfriend and a cat and a really pretty Instagram. And the other half who actually know a few things about me (that I sing, write, make waffles, etc.) probably assume that these things are more of hobbies than serious life choices. Basically, NOBODY KNOWS ME. But you will in a second.

I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS, OK?? I have never had an apartment, a “real job,” or a boyfriend – and I don’t plan on acquiring any of these items in the foreseeable future. My family runs their own business, which I am very involved in. (This is what we make if you’re curious.) It’s not a nine-to-five like most kids my age work, but that doesn’t mean it’s less intense. Because I’ve learned a lot from being involved in graphic design, photography, web design, secretary work, packing and shipping, production, public relations, marketing, and so much more. Not to mention I can say my mom and dad are #BOSS in more ways than one. ;)

In addition to working with my parents, I write books, I compose music, and I blog (DUH.) I plan to make a long-term career out of these three things. AND NO, THAT IS NOT “CUTE.” I know what most people think when they hear me say stuff like this – it’ll never work out. But guess what? I’M GOING TO MAKE IT WORK OUT. Music and writing is not a hobby for me – it’s a future. And while I work on building the foundation of a career doing something I freaking love to do, I’m working an actual job at an actual business – I just happen to never leave my house/garage. 

SPOILER ALERT: it’s not. To be honest, it’s strange to be separated from your family. I remember once sitting in a hair salon listening to a conversation between two women sitting next to me. The first woman was describing how heart-wrenching it was for her to watch her daughter leave for college. I was expecting a pacifying “but you can’t hold onto them forever” to conclude the story, but instead she went on to say that her daughter was also sobbing as she left her mother and her home – crying about how she didn’t want to go to college. And I just sat there and thought…what?? 

HERE’S A GOOD IDEA: the mom doesn’t want the daughter to go to college and the daughter doesn’t want to go to college and they are both weeping as they part ways. UM…DARE I ASK IF WE ARE MISSING THE POINT?? Some kids are glad to leave home. Some parents are glad when their kids leave home. But if this isn’t you…why do everything the exact same way everyone else does? BECAUSE #SOCIETY OF COURSE.

Society™ is when we take our cues from the person on our left and the person on our right – we no longer look within ourselves to find the answer. We conform to the ways of others just so that we feel like we belong, all the while sabotaging our own beautiful brains thAT WERE BUILT TO, I DON’T KNOW, THINK FOR THEMSELVES?? Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t make it right.

My family loves me and I love my family. I can’t imagine ever leaving home because I am perfectly content with my life. THAT IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, MY FRENS. Does this mean I plan on NEVER being financially independent? Not at all. Despite my good British blood avoiding all talk of money, it would be pretty freaking cool to make a buck or two off my writing and music career. BECAUSE MONEY DOES THINGS FOR SURE. But it is certainly not the key to happiness. Don’t delude thyself.

And to the kids who are going to college and getting “real jobs” – I think I speak for everyone when I say: GOOD FOR YOU!! As long as you’re doing it because you want to and not because someone is pressuring you to live a certain way. Do what serves YOU, not what serves Society™.

But today I’m speaking for the people like me who still live with their parents and aren’t sure whether or not this is something to be proud of – because it’s really sad how many young adults still feel like “kids” just because they aren’t financially independent. IT’S RIDICULOUS. IT STEALS HAPPINESS AND IT STEALS PRIDE AND IT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED. All of y’all out there like me – don’t be ashamed of living with your parents. Enjoy them. Enjoy your life!! Financial independence might not be as fun as you predict it to be. It’s okay to be dependent on someone else. It’s okay to be loved and cared for by someone else. Maybe that’s exactly what they need to keep going: YOU. 

I know, I’m getting all fiery today. I CAN’T HELP IT. What do you guys think? Do you still live with your parents? Are you frowned upon because of it? Or do you feel like it makes you “immature” or something?? SPOILER: it doesn’t. How are you going to rebel against Society™ today? And are you sad you chose details > waffles?? YOU SHOULD BE.


How To Find Time To Do The Stuff You Actually Like To Do But Have No Time To Do

If you clicked on this post out of despairing desperation then my fren, you are a lot like me. HI. Let’s hop on the next ship to Antarctica and be sad together. OR MAYBE WE SHOULD – idk – TRY TO FIX THIS PROBLEM INSTEAD?? There are only so many hours in a day.* And within the small span of time we are given in a day, there seems to be NO TIME EVER to do the fun things. This was an ongoing struggle for me until the day I realized “THERE MUST BE A WAY TO CREATE MORE TIME.” Because nothing is impossible, right??**

First let me clarify a few things: A HAVE A STRANGE LIFE. It’s strangely awesome, of course. But I understand that not everyone works from home on their family’s business while simultaneously working on their future career as a writer and a musician (with a blog – bonus!) I AM VERY VERY BLESSED. But even though I don’t have a “normal job” and I don’t go to college, I am still an incredibly busy human. I never really have “free time” because I can ALWAYS find something that needs to be done, cram it into my day, then crash for the night with an exhausted brain and body. BUT DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST SAID?? IT’S A CLUE TO SOLVING THIS PROBLEM. Let’s get on.

*25 to be exact. I counted one time. Right after I failed math.
** UNQUESTIONABLY. It’s scriptural. Woooo.

The answer to this question will be a little different for everyone. Which is why I’m only going to share my experiences with this – because as I said before, I have a strangely flexible but deceptively busy lifestyle. But if you’re serious about making more time for funsies, you’re going to have to face this question. Because it might not be JUST WORK that’s keeping you occupied. SURPRISE. 

The hustle is challenging, but it is also addictive. Sometimes we get roped into spending our time doing things that aren’t necessary to our careers, our happiness, or LIFE ON PLANET EARTH. I’m not saying this is you – I’m just saying…keep an eye out. Take note of where EXACTLY your time is going.

Maybe you want to read more books. Maybe you want to spend more time with your family and friends. Maybe you want to study neuroscience because WHY NOT.* Chances are, you want to do more than one thing. So now what??

• Make a list of all the things you have no time to do.
• Rank those things based on what you want to do THE MOST.
• Start by making time for the first one.

This might seem stupidly obvious, but it kind of wasn’t for me. I was like, “OMG I COULD PRIORITIZE THIS” and my life was forever changed. Priority lists might actually be my favorite thing now.

*Me, actually. I know I’m weird. But you love me.

Your task list is never done until you cross off: “Have fun!” ISN’T THAT CUTE OMG I THOUGHT OF IT MYSELF. Cheesy phrases aside, it’s true. I’ve had some experience of crossing off task lists. I’m a bit of an over-committer and an over-achiever, so I believed for a time that a crossed-off task list would make me feel accomplished – I was wrong. By observing my thoughts and emotions day by day, I’ve discovered that if I don’t do something that brings me joy, I feel like a failure. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Happiness is the ONE THING that puts me in a good mood. IRONIC, RIGHT.

The thing you don’t have time to do might be the very thing your soul needs right now. So don’t ever ever EVER feel guilty for doing something that brings you happiness and satisfaction. Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.*

*I stole that from somewhere. But if yoU WANT TO BELIEVE I AM WISE AND SAGACIOUS, GO AHEAD BRO.

Only YOU can figure out what’s best for your lifestyle.* DO YOUR HOMEWORK, BRO. But if you need some real life example to follow, this is how I managed to create time to do the stuff I actually like to do but had no time to do. And it wasn’t easy. It took (and continues to take, let’s be real) focus, effort, and self-control. I don’t know how versed I am in any of those things, but I MUDDLE THROUGH. And I’m sure you can, too.

At the beginning of the year, I made this one of my resolutions and SURPRISE I HAVE ACTUALLY KEPT IT: say goodbye to the internet and my task list at 6pm every night. In short, PUNCH OUT. I’ve always been more of an early birdie than a night owl. Most of my inspiration and motivation attack me in the morning hours. That means evening is my favorite time to chill. But my sister, for example, is just the opposite. She loves slow mornings and seems to be the most inspired (and wired) at night. SO IT’S DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE. Find a time that works well for you, and be okay with saying, “my day is done.”

We all know it: SOCIAL MEDIA WILL SWALLOW YOUR LIFE, YOUR GOLDFISH, AND YOUR MOTHER’S COUSIN’S FIRST CHILD IF YOU DON’T WATCH OUT. There is something so blissful about ignoring the woes of life and scrolling through our Instagram feeds – but the enjoyment is only short-lived and pretty soon we realize that our day is gone and WE HAVE DONE IT AGAIN WE ARE THE WORST FALURES EVER. OR MAYBE THE BEST FAILURES EVER?? WHATEVER. WE ARE FAILURES.

Social media is fun and helpful and essential to some careers – but only at very specific times. I’ve been discovering in myself that if I were to rake together all the minutes I spend scrolling through Twitter and Instagram in a given day, BOOM THERE’S THAT CHUNK OF TIME I WAS CRYING ABOUT NOT HAVING. I actually do have that time. I’m just scattering it about in all the wrong places and making myself sad. NOT A GOOD PLAN.

Sometimes, when I feel like a have a particularly busy day ahead of me, I propel myself forward with a challenge: let’s see how fast I can get everything done and I’ll have that much time left over for fun stuff! THIS IS CALLED BEAST MODE. And you could totally do this instead of punching out at a specific time but I prefer to punch out just because I’ve got a rap sheet filled with “ABBIE STAYED UP WORKING AGAIN” so sometimes I need to be controlled with force.** But it all depends on your personality. Move and work in a way that best serves you. Don’t worry. Be happy.

*…and prevent forest fires but that’s a whole other topic right.
**DON’T BE SCARED. I promise I’m only dark and terrifying at heart. Like a cupcake with a surprise (razorblade) inside.

Are you struggling to find time to do the things you actually like to do? Have you tried creating time for those things instead of just WHINING ABOUT IT?? Oops, here comes my Drill Sargent side. Do you have a particular time when you “punch out” of your task lists and distractions? DO SHARE WITH ME, Y’ALL.



VLOG: What's Up, March? (Bookmail + Mashups + Waffles)

WHAT’S UP Y’ALL. March is here!! And I made a video of my face because I’m too tired to write a blog post. (Very logic.) Let’s chat in the comments about the next cover song, all the books I got in the mail, and of course WAFFLES. What’s going on in y’all’s lives this month??


COVER SONG: "I Found" - Amber Run (With A Music Video And Everything!!)

HELLO MY LOVELIES. I AM SO EXCITED TODAY I MAY OR MAY NOT TYPE IN ALL-CAPS FOR THE NEXT TWENTY-FOUR HOURS. Just kidding – for the sake of your eyeballs alone I will control myself with the all caps. BUT ASDFGHJKL I’M JUST SO DARN EXCITED TODAY.

I’ve been saying it forever: I’m going to record covers! And you’ve been saying it forever: WHENNNNN ABBIEEEE??? Well, I can finally answer that question as I look you in the eyes* – TODAY MY FRENS. Today is the day! I’m releasing my first ever cover** and music video. The song is “I Found” by a super cool band called Amber Run. (Shoutout to Rebekah Joan for introducing me to them!) I fell in love with this song the moment I heard it – and I fell in love with it all over again when I heard the acoustic version. IT’S JUST A REALLY PRETTY SONG OK. So I decided to cover it for y’all!! AND I DECIDED TO MAKE A MUSIC VIDEO BECAUSE WHY NOT.

There’s something special about this video: it was filmed (by me lol) while I actually RECORDED the song. That microphone and piano are at the studio and WHY YES it was quite a task to juggle recording a song and its music video at the same moment. But I survived because HI. I’ll stop babbling now and let you watch the video EVEN THOUGH I’M SUPER NERVOUS BUT WHATEVER.

*Or, you know, look at this faceless computer screen and PRETEND I’m looking at your fabulous face. *contented sigh* Such close bonds wE HAVE AM I RIGHT??
**OKAY FINE if we’re being technical there was that one time I covered a cover of a non-Christmas Christmas song. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T HEAR IT??? Check it out here if you’re already pumped for Christmas.

ASDFGHJKL WHAT DID YOU THINK?? Please shout and flail in the comments. It would literally MAKE MY LIFE. <3