10 Ridiculous What-ifs I Have Actually Pondered In My #WritersLife


Every writer has unfounded fears and unrealistic imaginings. WHY?? BECAUSE WE ARE WRITERS, OF COURSE. Our whole world revolves around the overactive imagination stashed safely in our smol skulls. Sometimes this imagination is a blessing (like when you’re plotting a FREAKING BRILLIANT book series + planning your heist to conquer the world) and other times this imagination is a curse (like when you are plagued with terrifying self-doubt + plot bunnies.)

I MYSELF HAVE A VERY OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION. And it is a blessing/curse in equal measure. The Writer’s Life™ is a difficult thing. It’s a tough business. We have nothing to work with but WORDS. And gosh are words slippery beats to reign in and teach manners to.* Thus, we (or at least I since I should SPEAK FOR MYSELF) worry over lots of “what ifs” that never actually happen.** LOTS is the subject of that sentence. Here are just a few worries that keep this writer bean up at night.

*In fact, it is clinically proven that words have exactly 000000 manners.
**But maybe it’s just me?? IDK THIS IS FROM THE GIRL WHO WILL NEARLY DIE OF A HEART ATTACK IF SHE SEES A CATERPILLER. < true story


This is actually the “what if” I MOST OBSESS OVER. In fact, I’m probably just a tiny bit INSANE because of how much I ponder this. I MEAN IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE, RIGHT??* I’m incredibly overprotective of my story ideas. Which means 75% of my aesthetic boards on Pinterest are hidden.** I AM THAT PERSON. I’m the paranoid writer who thinks someone is lurking in the shadows of the internet to snap up a random creative idea.


I MEAN THERE’S NO ONE WHO REALLY DOES THIS, RIGHT?? And even when I don’t share my ideas, I’m afraid some talented writer elsewhere in the universe has discovered this brilliant plot bunny as well. BUT I DON’T THINK IT WORKS LIKE THAT.

*RIGHT?????
**SORRY THEY’RE REALLY FREAKING PRETTY TOO JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

SPOILER ALERT: NO BOOK IS COMPLETELY ORIGINAL AND UNIQUE. Why?? Well, I could get into Psychology™ or I could just tell you that story ideas have been recycling since the dawn of time. It’s the series of events that makes a story unlike anything else – not the components. Essentially, a book is more than the sum of its parts. If you broke any story down to its ingredients, everyone has used some of those ingredients before. Just like with food, a chef’s original dish is not unique because of what is in it, but because of what all those ingredients become. And no, I couldn’t have made a non-food analogy. THAT’S JUST WHO I AM, YO.  

This one is just dumb. You don’t suck. There’s the answer.


I don’t know about other writers, but when I plot a book it’s as if I AM WATCHING A FREAKING MOVIE IN MY HEAD. This, too, is a blessing and a curse. Because OMG WHAT IF I CAN’T WRITE IT. I can see it so clearly in my mind’s eye, I’m afraid I won’t be able to put it into words. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it justice. I BASICALLY NEED TO BECOME A MOVIE PRODUCER/SCREENWRITER AND GET ME A ONE WAY TICKET TO HOLLYWOOD STAT.

This one is also severely dumb. THE ONLY WAY IT WOULDN’T BECOME A BOOK IS IF YOU DON’T WRITE IT. AND YOU WILL NOT BE A LOSER BECAUSE YOU ARE MOTIVATED. Right??? *nervous laughter* You’re not a loser. Or a failure. BELIEVE IT, BRO. TELL YOURSELF SOME MOTIVATIONAL STUFF.


I’m so afraid of this one, I practically hiDE UNDER MY BED FROM IT. See, plot bunnies plague me. True story: I get a new book idea AT LEAST once or twice a month. WHY???? DOESN’T MY MUSE KNOW THAT I HAVE EXACTLY NO TIME TO WRITE AS IT IS?? I love new book ideas but when I don’t tackle them right away and instead store my ideas on the back burner, I’M AFRAID I WON’T BE EXCITED FOR THEM LATER. Which is actually ridiculous because I love my plot bunnies more than THE VERY FLESH ON MY BONES. Why would I get tired of them?? (BUT WHAT IF I DO.)

REMEMBER!! A BOOK IS MORE THAN THE SUM OF ITS PARTS. That’s the cool thing about art – it is unique because of the touch of the artist. EVERYTHING we make is unlike anything of its kind. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying that someone else has already made the thing I want to make and IT’S TOO LATE BEFORE I EVEN STARTED. Help???

Maybe this is just a historical fiction problem but WHAT IF you write something into your book that isn’t accurate a few years from now?? EVERYONE WILL SNUB YOU AND THINK YOU’RE IMMATURE. Right? WHAT IF TOMORROW WE DISCOVER THAT DINOSUARS WERE ACTUALLY VERY LARGE PENGUINS AND NOW YOUR WHOLE BOOK IS RUINED???? Obviously my middle name is Unrealistic.

This one is almost as dumb as thinking you suck at writing.

THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. Like I said before, we all create stories out of the same ingredients. Of course there are LOTS of ingredients out there. But it’s also a small world. So don’t be surprised if someone else uses strawberries in their dish. THEY MADE A THREE LAYER STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE AND YOU MADE STRAWBERRY MANGO SALSA. Completely different!! (Also I just made myself really hungry.) The point is: you can’t be WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. Why?? Because you’ll never just DO YOUR ART AND BE HAPPY. I clearly still need to learn this lesson.

Can you add to this list?? What are some of the unrealistic fears you worry about in your Writer’s Life? Have any of them actually come true?? Not sure if I want you to answer that one tbh. How do I stop obsessing over this???? *NERVOUS LAUGHTER*

rock on,
abbiee

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Vlog: What’s Up, April? (I’m Late + I’m In Florida + Woooo!)


So remember how I said that I was going to film a vlog every month?? Remember how I did February and March and then I ran awAY TO THE SUNSHINE STATE NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN?? Just kidding I totally wanted to abandon my blog because I posted a new music video and I was quite proud of it so…here we are. BUT I STILL FEEL BAD ABOUT HOW LATE THIS VLOG IS. And how unedited it is. And how I’m sitting on the dashboard of my RV in Florida and y’all aren’t here partying with me (aka listening to me get better at the ukulele) because THAT IS SO SAD.

I released a behind the scenes + bloopers video to go along with the “Hello / Alive” music video!! (Lots of hilarity and also a massive geek tutorial on my video editing process!!)

I’m filming another music video! This one involves UKULELE OMG and palm trees and a mashup. (Including a song by one of my #top favorite bands – guess who even though I totally just gave it away with that hashtag lololol)

My mom is currently beta reading my novel. *hyperventilates into a paper bag*

Y’all are doing Camp NaNo?? TELL ME ABOUT IT. I haven’t joined in on the fun this year because April is always my vacation month (muahaha) BUT Y’ALL ARE SLAYING IT. Let’s talk about your books in the comments!!

I finished reading Heartless and I don’t really know how to feel. BUT OF COURSE I SCREAMED OUT A REVIEW OVER HERE.

Anyone got music recommendations for a very long drive back home?? BECAUSE I NEED NEW MUSIC!! STAT!!




What’s going on this month for YOU guys??

rock on,
abbiee

COVER SONG: "Hello / Alive" - Adele / Sia MASHUP (Official Music Video)


WHOA THAT TITLE IS A MOUTHFUL. But an exciting mouthful because GUYS!!!! Today I’m releasing my FIRST EVER MASHUP COVER. WOOOO!! Since the first time I heard these two lovely songs – Hello by Adele and Alive by Sia – played within close proximity to each other I was like “ASDFHJKL; MASHUP OMG” and so obviously I had to create one. And obviously I had to record it. And obviously I had to make a music video for it (with the help of my amazing dad, of course.)

I’M SO STOKED TODAY Y’ALL AND TOTALLY NERVOUS SO BRB EATING WAFFLES AND HIDING UNDER MY BED LIKE A SMALL KITTEN. You guys mean so much to me. I make this stuff for y’all, but believe me when I say I HAVE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF FUN DOING IT. Still. The fun wouldn’t be complete without throwing an end product at your face (along with some waffles of course) and very coherently saying: SHLJKASFPOWJNVLKJVS;LKAS.

Check out the music video below and/or listen on SoundCloud!




lotsalove,
abbie

It’s Okay To NOT Be Independent (Why I Still Live With My Parents And Love Every Second Of It)


I had to add that tagline so you knew I wasn’t talking about politics. MUAHAHA NOPE I am very much a patriot and believe that the American Revolutionary War turned out better for everyone in the end. No, today I’m talking about the myths and lies that surround the terribly scandalous idea of living with your parents, preferably after the mature old age of eighteen years old. I had no idea I would be writing about this today, but good ole social media sparked the thought process: wow, a lot of young people still live with their parents and seem almost ashamed to mention it.

I’ll get my obnoxious opinion out in the open right away: YOU SHOULD NOT BE ASHAMED TO MENTION IT. We’ll talk about why exactly Dear Waffle Queen in a minute, BUT FIRST – I come to confess that I am one of these over-eighteen-year-olds who still lives with her parents. Want the details? Okay then but you’ll have to go without waffles. It’s either/or today I’M NOT FEELING VERY GENEROUS. Details or waffles? Details it is.

Society™ is something we hear mentioned a lot.* But what exactly is it? (Basically this.) Everyone following after each other’s example even to the extreme of having no idea why they are doing said thing in the first place. BUT LET’S JUST PRETEND FOR A SECOND that Society™ is a monster with small sharp teeth and a thirst for blood and waffles.**

Society™ is first of all probably disgusted by the fact that I live at the end of a little dirt road in the woods and I was homeschooled for the entirety of my small existence. BUT! There may be a small sliver of hope for me if I go to college. Society™ thinks I am bright and smart and I have Potential™ – I wouldn’t want to waste it on art. I ought to find a good job and a good man and adopt a dog and buy a house and have a family and pay taxes and be depressed by age thirty-two.


BUT I DON’T WANT ANY OF THAT. So Society™ concludes that I must be living with my parents – AKA huddled in the basement in an old recliner, writing this blog post and hoping to get through one more day of shirking household chores and waiting for Life™ to happen to me. (Because this plan makes a lot of sense.)

*At least I hear it mentioned a lot. In my house. By my own mouth. Because I’m a bit of a geek for psychology and the ultimate crumble of the world.
**Oh wait that’s me.

My friends probably think I have it made in the shade. (That is the friends who don’t get inside information from this blog muHAHAHA.) My friends probably imagine I am left alone in my very aesthetic bedroom to write books and music all day long – deigning only to the dinner table for food before returning to my art.

OR OR OR my friends think I have a boring secret day job and I’m just “trying to do music” or “trying to write a book” but lol it’s not going to make money because WHO MAKES MONEY DOING THAT?? Wait, did I say these people are my friends?? HAHA ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY.


Not to presume that my extended family thinks about me from one month’s end to another, but LET’S JUST PRETEND THEY DO. Half of them have no idea what my life is like. They probably think I’m in college with a boyfriend and a cat and a really pretty Instagram. And the other half who actually know a few things about me (that I sing, write, make waffles, etc.) probably assume that these things are more of hobbies than serious life choices. Basically, NOBODY KNOWS ME. But you will in a second.

I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS, OK?? I have never had an apartment, a “real job,” or a boyfriend – and I don’t plan on acquiring any of these items in the foreseeable future. My family runs their own business, which I am very involved in. (This is what we make if you’re curious.) It’s not a nine-to-five like most kids my age work, but that doesn’t mean it’s less intense. Because I’ve learned a lot from being involved in graphic design, photography, web design, secretary work, packing and shipping, production, public relations, marketing, and so much more. Not to mention I can say my mom and dad are #BOSS in more ways than one. ;)

In addition to working with my parents, I write books, I compose music, and I blog (DUH.) I plan to make a long-term career out of these three things. AND NO, THAT IS NOT “CUTE.” I know what most people think when they hear me say stuff like this – it’ll never work out. But guess what? I’M GOING TO MAKE IT WORK OUT. Music and writing is not a hobby for me – it’s a future. And while I work on building the foundation of a career doing something I freaking love to do, I’m working an actual job at an actual business – I just happen to never leave my house/garage. 


SPOILER ALERT: it’s not. To be honest, it’s strange to be separated from your family. I remember once sitting in a hair salon listening to a conversation between two women sitting next to me. The first woman was describing how heart-wrenching it was for her to watch her daughter leave for college. I was expecting a pacifying “but you can’t hold onto them forever” to conclude the story, but instead she went on to say that her daughter was also sobbing as she left her mother and her home – crying about how she didn’t want to go to college. And I just sat there and thought…what?? 


HERE’S A GOOD IDEA: the mom doesn’t want the daughter to go to college and the daughter doesn’t want to go to college and they are both weeping as they part ways. UM…DARE I ASK IF WE ARE MISSING THE POINT?? Some kids are glad to leave home. Some parents are glad when their kids leave home. But if this isn’t you…why do everything the exact same way everyone else does? BECAUSE #SOCIETY OF COURSE.

Society™ is when we take our cues from the person on our left and the person on our right – we no longer look within ourselves to find the answer. We conform to the ways of others just so that we feel like we belong, all the while sabotaging our own beautiful brains thAT WERE BUILT TO, I DON’T KNOW, THINK FOR THEMSELVES?? Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t make it right.

My family loves me and I love my family. I can’t imagine ever leaving home because I am perfectly content with my life. THAT IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, MY FRENS. Does this mean I plan on NEVER being financially independent? Not at all. Despite my good British blood avoiding all talk of money, it would be pretty freaking cool to make a buck or two off my writing and music career. BECAUSE MONEY DOES THINGS FOR SURE. But it is certainly not the key to happiness. Don’t delude thyself.

And to the kids who are going to college and getting “real jobs” – I think I speak for everyone when I say: GOOD FOR YOU!! As long as you’re doing it because you want to and not because someone is pressuring you to live a certain way. Do what serves YOU, not what serves Society™.

But today I’m speaking for the people like me who still live with their parents and aren’t sure whether or not this is something to be proud of – because it’s really sad how many young adults still feel like “kids” just because they aren’t financially independent. IT’S RIDICULOUS. IT STEALS HAPPINESS AND IT STEALS PRIDE AND IT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED. All of y’all out there like me – don’t be ashamed of living with your parents. Enjoy them. Enjoy your life!! Financial independence might not be as fun as you predict it to be. It’s okay to be dependent on someone else. It’s okay to be loved and cared for by someone else. Maybe that’s exactly what they need to keep going: YOU. 

I know, I’m getting all fiery today. I CAN’T HELP IT. What do you guys think? Do you still live with your parents? Are you frowned upon because of it? Or do you feel like it makes you “immature” or something?? SPOILER: it doesn’t. How are you going to rebel against Society™ today? And are you sad you chose details > waffles?? YOU SHOULD BE.

love,
abbiee